The Power of Self-Compassion and Empowering Questions

 

Take a deep breath with your mouth open. Relax your jaw, your neck, your shoulders, and your back. Finally, relax your hips and your legs. That’s it hold the moment. Hope you feel a little better now because today, we’re talking about something that can make every breath feel lighter: self-compassion.

Self-control, they say, is powerful, but self-compassion? It’s the secret ingredient to living a balanced and meaningful life. It’s what helps us navigate our struggles with grace. Today, I’m giving thanks for self-compassion and the empowering questions that can transform even the most frustrating days.

Why Self-Compassion?

Before we dive into today’s events (oh, there’s drama, I assure you), let’s explore why self-compassion matters. Life can be relentless with its demands, mistakes, and misunderstandings. Without self-compassion, we become our harshest critics, turning molehills into mountains and setbacks into personal failures.

Self-compassion is like a warm hug you give yourself. It’s the ability to recognize when you’re struggling, to care deeply for your own well-being, and then take constructive action. Research shows that people who practice self-compassion are less stressed, more resilient, and better equipped to handle challenges.

My Morning Reflection: Reframing the Questions

This morning started on a reflective note. As I prepared for the day, my mind raced with endless thoughts: Why this? Why that? Is there something I’m doing wrong? These questions kept swirling until I realized something they weren’t helpful. They weren’t empowering.

I paused and reframed them:

Instead of “Why is this happening to me?” I asked, “What is this situation trying to teach me?”

Instead of “What am I doing wrong?” I asked, “How can I show up better to get a different result?”

And just like that, the clouds started to lift. Empowering questions don’t just guide us toward solutions they remind us of our capacity to grow, learn, and thrive.

The Chaos at Work

The day had its challenges, though. At work, I found myself in a classic “which kind wahala hit pregnant mosquito?” scenario. My boss walked into the kitchen, sniffed the air, and frowned. “There’s a bad smell,” he said.

We traced the odour to a freezer that had been unplugged. When I asked why it hadn’t been turned back on in the morning, the staff blamed me, saying I had unplugged it the day before to save power while the generator was running.

Let me tell you, I was livid. Yes, I unplugged it yesterday, but was it not someone’s responsibility to ensure it was turned back on this morning? Food could have spoiled, and the lack of accountability left me frustrated.

Initially, I wanted to let it slide, but my anger bubbled over. I addressed the team firmly right in front of my boss. Taking responsibility doesn’t mean being a doormat, and sometimes being compassionate to yourself means standing up for what’s right.

A Dose of Compassion

Later, I visited a friend recovering from surgery. Seeing his progress and resilience warmed my heart and reminded me of the strength in healing. It also made me reflect on how much compassion he must be showing himself during this time.

As I ran an errand afterward, I had one of those “give yourself some compassionate pills” moments. I was carrying a few items not heavy, but enough to be inconvenient. A wheelbarrow pusher offered to help, but I declined. Moments later, someone else offered to pay for his service. Did I accept? No. Stubborn me dragged the items myself.

By the time I delivered the goods to a dispatch rider, I was physically and emotionally drained. And then, as if the universe wasn’t done testing me, I got into a taxi where the driver initially agreed to my destination but changed his mind once I got in.

When I exited the car, I forgot to close the door properly. The driver thought I did it intentionally, and I had to plead with him because it was an unintentional act. An elderly woman nearby added her two cents: “You young people need to double-check your actions and thoughts.”

At that point, tears were dangerously close to falling. But then I reminded myself: This isn’t about you. Show yourself some compassion and move on.

Lessons in Compassion

Moments like these teach us that compassion starts within. When we’re harsh on ourselves, it’s easy to project those feelings onto others. But when we’re kind to ourselves, we’re better equipped to handle misunderstandings, frustrations, and even criticism.

It’s also a reminder that not everyone operates from the same emotional space. Some people express love through control, some view respect as silence, and others simply reflect their own pain. Knowing who you are and maintaining your self-respect is essential—because if you don’t define yourself, others will do it for you.

How to Cultivate Self-Compassion

Talk to Yourself Like a Friend: When things go wrong, imagine what you’d say to a close friend in your position. Would you berate them, or would you comfort and encourage them?

Ask Empowering Questions: Shift your mind-set from blame to growth. Questions like “What can I learn?” and “How can I improve?” foster a sense of agency and hope.

Take a Breather: When emotions run high, take a moment to breathe, relax your body, and let your mind settle.

Celebrate Small Wins: Even on tough days, find one thing to appreciate whether it’s completing a task, helping someone, or simply making it through.

Call to Action

Life isn’t perfect, and neither are we. But that’s the beauty of it. Each day is an opportunity to grow, to learn, and to extend grace to ourselves first and then to others.

So here’s your challenge:

Think of one moment today where you could have shown yourself more compassion.

Reframe one disempowering question into an empowering one.

Share your reflections with someone close or write them down to remind yourself that progress always starts with self-love.

As you go about your day, remember: you deserve the same kindness and understanding you so willingly give to others. Life will have its pregnant mosquito moments, but with a little compassion, you can navigate them all with grace.