Trails, cashew, and Banter: A Hiker’s Gratitude Journal

 It's trail-setting o’clock! And it's a beautiful, smiling morning here in the city of Abuja. 

I woke up at 4:30 a.m., said my prayers, and, of course, kissed my plants (yes, we have that kind of bond). Took them outside so they could bask in the sunlight and do their photosynthesis thing. Then I called my jogging buddy, my neighbor, to check if he was up, but unfortunately, he had an early morning meeting and couldn’t make it. So while he handled corporate matters, I set out to conquer the trails.

The plan was to meet Naija Adventurers trail pilots at Becca’s apartment. I left the house at 6:20 a.m., hopped on a bike to the junction, and waited for another ride. Just as I was waiting, my hiking buddy called to check my location. I told him, and he offered to come pick me up, but I had already spoken to the Adventure lord to join their ride.

When we arrived at Becca’s, Mr. Henry, Eddie, Hercule, and Miss Oma were already waiting. We held on for Peruzzi and the others, and as soon as they arrived, we wasted no time we hit the road. We were 12 in number today; others had commitments to take care of. We had a lovely couple amongst us too.

Upon reaching our destination, we parked, tied our boots, and walked toward the mountain. It took just five minutes to reach the trail, and right there, we saw cashew plantations sweet, fresh cashew plantations! The excitement was real. Adventure Lord wasted no time; he climbed the tree like it was his birthright and started plucking cashews. Mr. Josie, Miss Oma, and even Mr. Oscar (who claims he doesn’t eat cashews) joined in. Shoutout to Maxi we missed you today! You’re still my No. 1 cashew climber.

Now, just when we were deep in cashew heaven, we encountered the "devil bean" (or Werepe in Yoruba). If you know, you know. That was our cue to relocate strategically because safety comes first! After scouting for a safer route, we found one and continued our ascent.

At the summit, it was time for roasted yam and palm oil (pk). We gathered wood on our way to the summit, set up a fire, and got to roasting. While waiting for the food, we found ourselves deep in conversation about visa struggles. Our elder took us on a nostalgic trip down memory lane, back to the '80s when money had value. He shared how he travelled to Germany, bought a car, sent it home, and still had money left. Meanwhile, people back home thought he hit the jackpot, not knowing he was just using the funds he initially took from home. What brought about this was the dollar rate going down, and some Nigerians abroad ain't find life easy over there, and those back home have high expectations from them. Even while some are being deported they couldn't still come back home.

Then, the conversation shifted to a surprising topic "Is it difficult to get a Nigerian visa?" Apparently, it is, and some of us were shocked. I mean, we thought only the UK, the US, and Canada had those "visa wahala" situations.

From visas, we somehow landed on another interesting topic Nigerian women shooting their shots. Some guys argued that women don’t make the first move; others disagreed. I pointed out that some women have shot their shot, but after experiencing disappointment, they gave up. Our elder then threw in an unexpected take he said that in South Africa, women ask men out because they have internalized white man culture. Mr. Oscar added that the same thing happens in Rwanda. I just said, “Well, good for them, but here… that’s not what we know.” Elder said that should change now; women should go ahead and shoot their shot if they like a man respectfully. Gone is the era. 

Meanwhile, Peruzzi and Miz T were tending to the roasted yam, peeling the ready ones. Oma was busy making content and messing around with Selfiey, yes, that’s a person. 

When the yam was ready, shoutout to Miz T for the hard work and Peruzzi for being a sure guy! Mr. Eddie, the assistant roaster, and Mr. Josie did well, too. The rest? Eaters. No shame in that.

After eating, we moved under the trees for some shade. I decided to lead a meditation session so everyone could relax and connect with themselves. But some people, an Edo boy coughed, refused to close their eyes. Something about "village people" monitoring him. Another Yoruba guy also played it safe. Elder’s phone rang twice during the session. The first time, he ignored it. The second time, he answered and asked, "Why are you flashing me?" The restraint it took not to burst into laughter mid-meditation… elite self-control!

Post-meditation, Mr Oscar said it was a waste of time because he was busy imagining things. Mr. Josie countered that he would have felt the effect if he had actually participated. He even suggested we repeat the session at Fari Ruwa. Some people appreciated it, while others were lost in their daydreams.

Then came the banter. These guys dragged me left, right, and centre. They even threatened me to publish all the adult-rated content they were dishing out. Kole wok!

As we began our descent, we found even more cashews. My guys went all out this time, climbing trees, hoarding cashews, and claiming territory. Oma was yelling, "They are mine!" Meanwhile, Peruzzi, Mr. Josie, and Hercule were almost colonizing the plantation, but nature won. No worries there’s plenty left for those coming on Saturday (watch out for the devil bee, though!).

Elder had to leave early for work, and at one point, I found myself alone, wondering which way to go down. While deliberating, my hiking buddy came back to check on me. I assured him I had it under control, and I did I made it down, and we met halfway before walking back to the parking lot.

While waiting for the others, we reflected on the trail we just set and agreed that it was an easy hike just an hour to and fro.

I am grateful for this amazing community.

I am grateful for the wisdom our elder keeps sharing. He made a strong point today: "No responsible man whose wife is not in Nigeria should be found outside with another lady." Oma immediately reacted "Men are wicked!" We asked her why, and she brought up Annie and 2Baba’s saga. Elder then said, "Fame does not give you the right to be indisciplined. It takes discipline to be a responsible man."

I also added my two cents: I don’t enjoy discussing celebrities’ private lives, but one thing is clear Annie has yet to discover her self-worth. That sparked another debate. One guy rolled his eyes and said, "Here we go again with the self-worth talk." But self-worth isn’t just for women it applies to men, too! If you see red flags in a relationship and still stay, that’s on you.

I am grateful for the safe space I’ve found in this crew.

Takeaways from today’s hike:

1️⃣ Be self-aware and know who you are and what you stand for.

2️⃣ Don’t ignore red flags thinking you can change someone. A person changes only if they want to.

3️⃣ Be humble and learn from others.

4️⃣ Take time to connect with nature. Mr Josie shared how hiking saved him from undergoing surgery his doctor advised him to connect with nature more, and it worked.

5. Don't let people's high expectations of you lead you to the wrong part of life.

The Great Selfiey. Shoutout to you, man! He took some fire pictures.

Trail pilots took their time to chill under the cashew tree while eating and debating the next trail and how tomorrow's hiking would be. They finally decided to go by 2pm. Meanwhile, I had gone home already, only for Mr Hercule to call me via WhatsApp video to pepper me with their hangout session.

See you all on Saturday!

Peace ✌️.